In Daniel Pink’s new book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, business owners can learn how regret should actually be valued versus seen as abnormal or negative. This book can help us understand how we can take regret and use it to live our best life.
We have all heard of the motto “No Regrets”, well this should not be a saying that we live by, especially if we want to live a life that is well-lived. If we live without any regrets in our life then we are missing out on the opportunity to make ourselves even better.
In Pink’s book, he reminds us that regret is not dangerous but instead is healthy and is a part of humanity. Regret can help instruct us and can provide clarification. Although society tells us regret should drag us down, it should instead help lift us up and make us want to learn from past mistakes..
Daniel Pink discussed with Al Gore, Malcolm Gladwell, and Anne Lamott the 10 most important lessons they have learned regarding happiness, success, and life. The following are valuable lessons that were shared that could be beneficial to your business and personal life:
1. The three best words you can say on a regular basis are “thank you” and “please”. This should help remind you that you shouldn’t expect others to do things for you and that you are not entitled to the things that people do for you. Also, by saying ‘please’, this should help remind you that others do not serve you. You should be honored that others are wanting to help you.
2. The three best ways to deal with regret. The first way to handle regret is to remember to cut yourself some slack. Look inward and be kinder to yourself. Secondly, turn the emotion that comes with regret into concrete words and try to make sense of how you are feeling. Lastly, as you move forward, try to find a lesson out of your regrets.
3. Stay focused on the big picture. This lesson comes straight from Vice President Al Gore. He states it is important to avoid having a narrow view on life and to broaden our focus and horizons.
4. The best way to liberate yourself is by not caring what others think about you. This lesson doesn’t need much explanation, however, Pink believes it is important to not care what others have to say or think about you. The only thing that matters is that you are trying to be a good person and are making a difference in the world.
5. The best way to overcome hassles is a two-step process. First, tackle the small tasks. Once you do this, move on to the bigger issues. Look at them as tests and try to stop getting too emotional. Instead try to be creative and seek solutions.
6.Good ideas lead to good ideas. Author Malcom Gladwell believes if you start off with one good idea then you’ll end up with a family tree of others. Building off of Gladwell’s lesson, Pink shared that there is a three-step process for your ideas that you should be aware of. First, generate multiple ideas. Second, write them down and capture them as they can easily disappear from your mind. Lastly, don’t be afraid to share these thoughts with other people thinking they might steal your ideas because instead they might give you five more for you to use.
7. The best way to persuade others is to not try to persuade them. Instead of trying to persuade others, start by making it easier for them to make a change. It’s generally believed that it is better to change someone’s mind before they are willing to make a change, however, instead try to make it easier for them to act.
8. Pick the professor, not the class. It is important to consider who you are spending your time with as you tend to develop traits like those around you. Instead of spending a lot of time developing a project, be sure you are also thinking about who you are going to be doing the project with. In other words, try to spend time with those who are kind, intelligent and are open minded. Remember, that you are who you are around most often.
9. Take it one step at a time. It is important to stay in the now versus spending too much of your time looking into the future.
10. The best way to make a decision is by asking yourself “What would I tell my best friend to do?” Pink reminds us that we tend to be better at solving other people’s issues other than our own, so we should always ask ourselves what advice we would share with a loved one before making a decision.
These are valuable lessons that you can take with you not only into the business world but also into your personal life. Taking these ten lessons could make the world a better place!
