In business, we are always going to be discussing prices, contracts, deadlines, products, and more. Periodically, you might find yourself in a disagreement with vendors, customers, distributors, or others. Negotiating does not mean that someone has to lose. According to Rhonda Abrams your goal should be, “Settle for Victory.”
By this she means to try and find a positive outcome for yourself instead of just focusing on beating the other party. This is not always easy because, let’s be honest, when you are in a discussion or disagreement, you may tend to act on your emotions. It is likely that in that moment your emotions will take over and you will want to beat them and do what you can to right a perceived wrong.
However, acting on those emotions is not good for you. Instead of trying to win, focus on what would actually be a good result, or a victory, for you and your business. Abrams learned this the hard way when her business was in a legal dispute. This ended with court-ordered mediation, The other business had violated the terms of a contract that they had and did not pay what was owed. She was angry and wanted them to pay big time for their actions.
Thankfully, she had a smart lawyer. He asked her, “What is it you really want?” Which really prompted the thinking of what a victory would be for her, regardless of what happened to the “other guys”.
From this thinking Abrams realized that she would rather get out of the contract; not being stuck with them would be even better getting paid. In the end, this meant she had to actually pay money to the guy that owed her money and had been in the wrong. While a lot of people in her life did not agree with this decision, it allowed her much more success than a small financial settlement.
This attorney taught her to, “Settle for Victory.” Focus on a win yourself instead of a loss for the other guys. While this might seem sensible, in the moment it is neither obvious nor easy.
At the end of the day, in order to get what is best for you or your business, it is important to walk away from trying to inflict pain on those who you think have wronged or owe you.
Repeat this mantra to yourself every day and it will make you happy and more successful in the end. Whenever you are in the middle of negotiating or a disagreement, in business or your own life, remember these steps:
- Define options that will work for you. If you have only chosen one option, there is no wiggle room to compromise or negotiate. Instead you are demanding that they meet your needs, which does not give the other guy any option.
- Keep an open mind. In reality, there is likely more than one way to reach your goals, maybe even ones you didn’t think of. Stay open to what the other party has to say, it might end up helping you.
- Communication. You need to keep lines of communication between you and the other party open. Once communication shuts down, a positive outcome is pretty unlikely. Ignoring one another is not the solution.
- Look for quick solutions. The goal is to get you running your business and not stuck fighting. While initially the fastest solution might seem more expensive, it generally is the best resolution and cheaper in the long run.
- Don’t take anything personally. Sometimes the other side might make suggestions that you disagree with you even find insulting, you need to be okay with that. Do your best to approach everything professionally and businesslike no matter how they make you feel; and do NOT get personal with the other guys.
- Look for a win. Lastly, the both parties will walk away happy if there are positive outcomes, not perfect ones. Look for a way you can both find a positive solution.
The next time you are in a disagreement or negotiating remember the phrase, “Settle for Victory.” Do not solely focus on defeating the other guys, or only getting what you want, but to look for positive and realistic outcomes.
